e-Culture Shock

January 9, 2012 · Filed under General

Due to what I consider my obviously vast experience in interior design (what?) I have been requested to design ‘thematic concepts’ for 4-8 exclusive private apartments to host visitors inside Queen Elizabeth National Park, near Mweya Safari Lodge.  Or perhaps I am just helping them to cut corners on their design budget.  But I can cut corners!  In fact I snip, I pare, I mince, I prune, I trim!  I trim with lace! And baubles! And oversized photos of Crested Cranes!  Per chance…a lava lamp?  Don’t blame me if I’m ahead of my time, or yours, or really just anyone’s time….ever. 

Well, anyway.  Because I hope my first sentence hit all of you as rather sarcastic in nature (who, me?) I spent my morning desperately Googling things like “elephant themes” and “interior design +  Shoebill Stork”.  The former yielded copious ideas for pre-school activities.  I think I may have a future here.

Googling “Pelican-themed rooms” got a luckier hit!  Well, I consider irrelevant links that distract me from my work to be lucky, at least.  It turns out that the Pelican Hotel in Miami Beach has funky/cool custom-themed rooms!  None of them are pelicans, but that’s okay Google.  Hyphenations are hard.  You have to check out this hotel– http://www.pelicanhotel.com/amenities.  Go ahead and have Travelocity pulled up in the next window.  Miami here we come!  24 hour front-desk, valet parking AND “Plasma TV iPhone iPod Audio System”?  I don’t even know what that means!  I want it!  Courier services?  I can find a use for that.  All I know is that there’s a photo of a croissant and an iced coffee with my name and someone else’s credit card on it.

There is a room theme-named “Me Tarzan You Vain” which convinces me that this 30-minute eye-popping detour was somehow relevant to my day’s task. (There’s a zebra-print wall.)  Sigh.  Back to contemplating Shoebills and Sunbirds and what kind of a rug might best-reflect the spiritual ethos of a long-tailed cormorant.